Showing posts from November, 2020

The Outhouse Fiasco

                                                   The Outhouse Fiasco I can't believe my Aunt and Uncle let me get close to their farm after all the things that happened. They must have thought disaster followed me. My friend and I seemed to find trouble in everything we did.  One evening  after playing hard all day, we stunk, we were dirty and wanted to have a Sauna. My Aunt started it up for  us and all we had to do was wait.  Julie decided to use the outhouse before we got into the sauna.  Both of us were overweight, Julie more so, and was shorter.  Shortly after I hear screaming for the outhouse. I figured she saw a snake, no big deal.  Again, she is hollering my name. I figured I better check, not that I wanted to see a snake or smell the outhouse, but I did go over. I open the door, there is no Julie.  Where the heck did she go? I hear yelling inside and looked down. Sitting on the shit pile beneath the outhouse was Julie.  She broke the outhouse seat and took a plunge.  She

Maid of Honor.... Never Again

 You'd think being a Maid of Honor for a friend would be great, not in my case. I was 23 years old when asked. The bride and groom were older, she was in her 30's and Bob was maybe 50. Not sure, but he was quite a bit older than Kathy. Plans were made, it was a pot luck reception and I made the wedding cake since I loved cake decorating.  Everything seemed to fall into place. The morning of the wedding we went to get our hair done in up dos. We got dressed and were picked up to go to the church. Waiting for guests to be seated and the ceremony to begin, I was informed we would be going to the Marina for photos after. The ceremony went well, I noticed the groom didn't have his teeth, only his two fangs were showing.  It made for some interesting photos. The car was waiting for us to head to the marina. It was nice and sunny, flowers were blooming, water and boats behind us, a perfect backdrop.   After the photos we head back to the parking lot to find out Bob sent the car ba