A little bit about everything! - Elaine Bosvik Ciarnau

 When I was diagnosed with cancer October 2013, I was in the ER bleeding to death. My family was told I was dying and would die within a couple hours. A physicist, came up with a plan to give me 2 high dose radiation treatments to burn the area I was bleeding from. I had cancer in the lining of the uterus that metastasized to the cervix, vagina, lymph nodes and areas around. Plus I had 2-71/2 pound ovaries. I looked like  was 9 months pregnant with twins. My regular doctor told me I was just too fat and lazy and never checked anything. For a year, my stomach just grew bigger. I bled on and off like a butchered pig. It  took me almost dying before someone would listen. I woke up in the morning to pee, blood was pouring out like I turned on a faucet. Clots filled the toilet. I headed to the hospital. My ER doctor took one look and called in many specialists and gave me 6 units of blood. I was surrounded in 10 minutes and immediately had CT scans, MRI, Ultrasound, internal scan, x-rays, l

 First question was, "Do you soil the bed at night?" "No, do you?" was my reply. This is the first time in many years I have had a young, handsome man try to get in my pants.  He's a nurse but what difference does that make?  I'm old, any mention of anything like that would get me smiling. He needed to check something but so what. Fact is, he ended up getting in my pants, not once, but twice. He wanted to see my coccyx and my butt cheeks. He had me bend over the bed, baring my rump checking them out.  He so gently greased them up. It felt good. He then asks me if I want to get into the peek-a-boo hospital gown and get ready for bed. What the hell, I give him a butt and now he wants the whole body? To top it off, he would have helped me change. I'm pretty sure he wanted to check out what a real woman looks like with all the wrinkles. rolls and fat! Later, he comes in with a scale. Men are NEVER supposed to ask a woman's weight. Maybe he was planning o

 A few days in the hospital is good for finding some humour in situations you can't control. This time around, my bum was the butt of all jokes. My God, the first picture I saw was a dried out pig that had been roasting too long on a spit.  Wrinkled skin hanging off my backside with fluid filled blisters popping all over. Suddenly the peeling would start, strips of skin coming off in sheets that would impress Hannibal. Being told to leave it alone made it even itchier. I swear, going to poop there were blisters that consumed the entire poop only to pop when wiping. My wonderful nurses Kim and Lisa would check my my arse for dry cracks, wounds and whatever else could be hiding back there. I would bend over mooning them so they could have a good look. So gently, they would butter up my arse, no fear of the hemorrhoid that kept watch and would wink at them plotting to take a shot and make way for a fart or worse. They would have nice padded dressings to cover the problem areas as I wa

 One afternoon while I was at work I had to call my Mom to ask her to go to the pharmacy and pick me up some cough medicine. The store was right beside her so she agreed and I would go to her place after work. The pharmacist was a miserable man and insisted she get a certain type because I was a bigger girl and needed a stronger kind.  I went to her place to pick up the medicine and noticed it was the same brand I wanted but, it had an ingredient I was allergic to and would have to exchange it. I took the bottle and receipt and went to the same pharmacist she bought it from. I explained my situation about not being able to use one of the ingredients.  I gave him the receipt, he knew who my Mom was so there was no question it was bought from there. He saw the package was not tampered with, the receipt was from there and he refused because I didn't have the bag.  I was not in a good mood by then, grabbed my stuff and went to my Mom's to see if she had the bag. She did but it was

  Mom's Haunted House Back in the 1950's my Mom, Wilma decided to stop working as a cookee in the bush camps to raise her children. She moved to town, rented a house and decided to start taking in people for room and board. She knew two young policemen who were wanting to rent two of the bedrooms. Another woman took the third room. There were little problems with room 1 the door would open, even when locked. Windows would slam shut, smells of aftershave  would waft through the air. An occasional cool breeze would pass by without a window being open. One policeman, John, took that room as his own. The second week he started feeling like someone was watching him. He was blaming his cop friend that he did something to the room to prank him. He denied doing anything. A couple of night later the cop was startled by a noise. He opened his eyes and standing at the foot of the bed was a man dressed in a black suit. John, yelled for the man to get out. He disappeared. John thought he wa

 Going to spend a few days in a trailer at my Aunt and Uncles farm was something  I loved as a teen. I'd take one of my friends and have a great time. Usually we did something to cause problems. One afternoon my friend Judy and I noticed the fence to the cow pasture was broken. We didn't want t he cows getting out and  decided to try and fix the fence. We could later brag to my Aunt and Uncle how we saved the cows and fixed the fence. No matter how we tried, we couldn't get the fence up and had to come up with another idea. I had a brilliant thought, we would coax the cows and bull into the barn and tie them up.  We got them all into their stalls, but there was a problem. The bull wasn't happy.  He was restless and causing a ruckas.  Judy went in his stall and was cornered as she tried to secure him to the post. He just kept backing out and snorting. I had another brilliant plan. I was going to go outside the barn door and close it so the bull wouldn't see the light