Get in my Pants!

 First question was, "Do you soil the bed at night?"

"No, do you?" was my reply.

This is the first time in many years I have had a young, handsome man try to get in my pants.  He's a nurse but what difference does that make?  I'm old, any mention of anything like that would get me smiling. He needed to check something but so what. Fact is, he ended up getting in my pants, not once, but twice.

He wanted to see my coccyx and my butt cheeks. He had me bend over the bed, baring my rump checking them out.  He so gently greased them up. It felt good.

He then asks me if I want to get into the peek-a-boo hospital gown and get ready for bed. What the hell, I give him a butt and now he wants the whole body? To top it off, he would have helped me change. I'm pretty sure he wanted to check out what a real woman looks like with all the wrinkles. rolls and fat!

Later, he comes in with a scale. Men are NEVER supposed to ask a woman's weight. Maybe he was planning on buying by the pound. I do provide a lot of bacon.

I think according to some cultures beliefs, we are now considered married.  He already claimed half of what I own. He is going to be so surprised to find out that most of what I own is BEAR related. Nothing like waking up to a bear statue staring at you. Evan is terrified of bears so this will make an exciting adventure. 

At least I will have someone to butter my backside when needed. Hmmmm, maybe I should start using bedpans and request bed baths when he's on shift. If he wants half my bears, make him work for them and make it worthwhile.