The Funny Side of Cancer

Cancer is not a funny thing to have, but some of the things that happen to your body are. I had cancer, I was given 1 year to live if I survived the first day. I was hemorrhaging and they didn't know how to stop it. I was given 2 very high radiation treatments just to burn the area to stop the bleeding. That was 6 years ago. I kept a diary and looked at the funny things instead of fearing the cancer. Here is one of my entries after surgery for Endometrial Cancer.

After all these years of NOT having an ass I finally have one! My friends were always laughing because we referred to each other as the fat ass and the flat ass.  My cancer surgery changed that.

After 10 days, it was time for me to see my surgical site. The first time I stood up and took a look at my incision without the bandaging and I found my ASS! I finally have one, I'm so excited. There it was,  sitting right in front of my belly! What a glorious sight it was, a 90 year old woman's saggy, wrinkly ass hanging off my belly. There were cheeks on both sides and a crack up the middle.  Good God, it even had a butt hole.

As I sat on the toilet I looked down again and sure enough it was still there. I was in hysterics, laughing my ASS OFF. I was so proud that I had to call in my husband. He was a little shocked at the sight but he laughed. I called in my son, he thought it was pretty cool as he examined it. We took pictures to prove I was no longer a flat ass. I walked around with my pajama bottoms low on my hips with my ass hanging out appreciating the fact that I had one, I celebrated and called my closest friends to tell them my good news.  I didn't care that it was in the wrong place. I exposed it to my Doctors, nurses and anyone else who wanted to see it. They all agreed, it looked just like an ass.
One Doctor looks at me, so serious, "Are you okay with how it looks?"
Hell ya, I went so many years without one, you aren't taking it from me now!  As long as I don't start crapping out of it, I'm ok with it.


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