Out of Toilet Paper

Out of Toilet Paper

As I sat on the toilet taking a dump, brushing my teeth and reading  tweets, I realized some moron didn't refill the toilet paper. (That would be me).  Some idiot took all the laundry downstairs and didn't replace the towels. (That would be me again). I suspect that the males in this house think they are replaced by little fairies. 

I tried to message my Son who was in the garage with his Dad AND the toilet paper. No reply! What the hell am I going to do, take off my shirt to wipe my arse? After checking the cupboard in front of me for my hidden emergency roll and find nothing (I forgot I used that last week and didn't replace it) I sat there for 10 minutes praying someone will come inside. No such luck.  

Only option was to take a shower and spray my butt with the nozzle. Thank God it's detachable. Soon as I get in, I hear a knock on the door. My son, " mom, I brought you toilet paper, you forgot to fill up the holder. I had a shit earlier and had to use your panties to wipe myself. I threw them in the washer. " 

So here I am, clean bum, but up to my elbows in shit from cleaning the shower, and digging out the panties from the washer because he didn't think to throw them in the garbage, or rinse them in the toilet.  I have to wash the washer, rinse the shit out of the laundry, so I can put it in the washer. After all is done, I have to have another shower.  Now who is the dumbass? Don't answer. Refill your toilet paper holders! That's all the advice I have to offer.


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